It’s Been 84 Years
This meme has been living rent-free in my brain since the middle of January. How can we only be 7 weeks feel like 70 years?
First, Los Angeles caught on fire, our government is in a terrifying tailspin, and I was struck down by the devastating Influenza-A or B that has been ravaging the country. It’s been a long year, but I’m finally crawling out of my sickbed and feeling like a human being again, so I thought I’d return to this, though with much less enthusiasm than I had only a handful of weeks ago.
What’s New?
Nothing? Everything?
Like I said, it’s been a weird few weeks. I started the year with so much enthusiasm and excitement. I wanted to start on the right foot, to build momentum that could carry me through the slumps. But 2025 came out swinging, and truly knocked me on my ass.
I was very lucky not to have been harmed or displaced by the fires, but it was a very traumatic week, and my heart breaks for everyone who lost something or everything. If you have the means, please consider donating to one of the many families struggling to rebuild.
Los Angeles Wildfire Master List - Compiled by Rachel Davies. You can read their post here.
Hellboys:
Book 2 has been a rollercoaster. It has evolved into a full outline with a new working title: Hellboys, even though it’s morphed into a story about a feral woman because I am who I am. But the spark has faded in the worst way.
I started Hellboys as a break from my first book, It Ends in a Fire, which I finished in the fall of 2023. I spent 2024 querying agents with minimal success. Two agents have the full manuscript right now, which I remind myself is very exciting and that hope for traditional publishing is still alive. The prevailing wisdom for the querying/publishing process is to keep writing. Work on Books Two, Three, or Four because the odds improve with each finished manuscript. The problem I had was that Fire is the first book in a planned trilogy, so I can’t go out and query Book Two if Book One fails.
So Hellboys was born. It was shiny and new and exciting, brimming with possibility, but as I worked through the first outline, I kept finding myself being drawn back to the sequel to Fire, It Ends in a Flood. I tried to fight it, to stick to my original goal of a first draft of Hellboys, but after nearly two weeks of suffering in my convalescence, this new book just felt like homework. I wanted to stick to the goals I set at the beginning of the year. I said I would work on this book, and that means that’s what I have to do.
But I’m my own boss, and I make the rules, so I’m switching things up and going back to working on my original Book Two, It Ends in a Flood. I opened the Scrivener file for the first time in 2025 yesterday, and it felt like coming home. I didn’t hate everything; I even liked most of it, and all the old sticking points felt much more surmountable after a few months of distance.
I find myself trying to fight my brain a lot of the time because it is wired differently than the standard. I used to feel like a flake or a failure because it is hard for me to finish a project; I am always distracted by something shiny and new as soon as things get tough, but I’m working on embracing how my brain works. I’m not the kind of person who thrives on a linear path; I need the detours, the change of scenery often sparks something that I can bring back to the original path. And that’s ok. Things will get done when they get done.
What I Got Done:
Hellboys: A completed outline! Will it all change when I sit down to write the actual manuscript? Obviously.
The Goals: 90-100k word first draft Get back into a writing routine.
At my peak writing productivity, I got into a great groove of freewriting or reading in the morning and writing it out in the afternoon. The goal is to try and do that 5x per week, like a job, since Hollywood is still dead dead dead.
The Deadline: May 1, 2025 March 1, 2025
Goals are allowed to shift and change, and that’s ok. I got thrown for a loop this month, and things fell off the rails a little bit, so I'll give myself this short month to get back on track.
By the numbers:
Words Written: Hellboys: 34,890 Flood: 3,334
Total: 38,224
Where I Wrote: At home because I was a plague rat and hardly left the house.
What I’m Reading:
The Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson
I am still reading this book. If I had to describe the experience in one word, it would be belabored.
Real Americans by Rachel Khong
I was so excited when I received this book at the Silver Lake Reading Club holiday exchange. I started it to prepare for Rachel’s visit to the reading club last week, and it has been a delight so far. It reminds me a bit of Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, but don’t ask me to explain why.
What I’m Watching:
Severance, AppleTV
This is the greatest TV show of our time. It is so well crafted, from top to bottom. I love every second and could not tell you what will happen next (but I did call that twist, even though I didn’t want it to be true). If you aren’t watching this, you are missing out.
Was A-List Worth It? No
I went to zero movies. I had reservations to screenings of The Last Showgirl and Nickel Boys, which were both canceled because of the fires, but that’s fine. I’m happy to support my struggling industry and will just have to make up for it in the future, especially now that I get FOUR MOVIES A WEEK (insert airhorn noises).
Miscellany:
I decided to accept my place at the Futurescapes Writing Workshop in Florence, Italy! You can’t take the money with you, and we all need something to look forward to.
I also registered to enter an afghan in the Los Angeles County Fair! I was inspired by my friend Mary Kenny, and you can follow her journey in the Tablescaping Competition.
Questions? Comments? Concerns?
What are you doing to stay sane in these trying times? What has brought you joy? What are you interested in hearing more about?
Happy Valentine’s Day, loves! Thanks for spending some time with me.